September 18, 2011
The 24th & 25th Kerala Kennel Club Annual Dog Show's breed show event was held this morning at the Chandrasekharan Nair stadium. The simultaneous hosting of two annual events is accomplished by creating two rope "rings", in reality rectangles, side by side and holding toy dogs section in one and bigger breed in the other. Yesterday was the "obedience" show which from the newspapers photos looked like a better event but owing to "hartal" couldn't manage to gather a crowd.
Today's event was supposed to start at 8am. When we got there by 8:15, only a dozen dogs were pulling their owners around on leashes. The registration started at 9:30. After an excruciating wait that was further aggravated by repeated announcements of "we'll start in a few minutes", the event finally got going by 10:30. This late start coupled with back to back hartals on Saturday and Monday has firmly brought home to me the fact that I am back in Kerala.
Though the dogs started strutting their stuff only by 10:30, the official inauguration was conducted by the "worshipful mayor advocate Chandrika madam avarkal" as the announcer called her. She started with one of the weirdest Malayalam sentences I had ever heard, "Namude valarthu mrigangalil ettavum sneham nammalodu kanikunnava aanalo namude valarthu mrigangal" (Among our domestic animals, the most loving ones are our domestic animals). Achan's jaw dropped on hearing this. The few spectactors who had claimed the ring side seats looked at each other. She continued undaunted about her neighbor's dogs which are very courteous towards her guests and a few more innane statements before raising the kennel club flag and fleeing the venue immediately, without any display of the undying love for dogs she stated just a while ago in her speech.
The judges were an industrialist from Mumbai who also doubled as dog show lover from the 70s, Mr. Radhakrishnan and the retd Head of the Chennai College of Vetenary Science, Dr. Joseph. For some reason, Dr. Joseph decided to suit up for an outdoor event on one the hottest recent Sundays in Thiruvananthapuram. This meant he had to take frequent breaks to sit in the shade. Somehow it never occured to him that he'll be more comfortable without the jacket and tie. Even the handful of foreigners attending the events were wearing cotton kurtas and salwars.
The event was thankfully half way inside the quonset hut with tarpaulin roofing erected in the middle of the stadium to protect against the unpredictable monsoon showers. I am comfortable using the term quonset hut because I have taken more than a couple of Fluid Mechanics courses and one question will always be about the wind over such a hut.
Most of the participant owners were Tamilians. The dog breeding movement seems strong in Tamil Nadu, and rightly so for the birthplace of the Rajapalayam breed.
Before the start of the event, the announcer felt compelled to introduce a famous Malayalee cardiologist from Mumbai as someone "about whom I have no words to express his relation with the kennel club!". Hmmm?! This Dr. Pillai spoke for a couple of minutes about not allowing pets to become a public nuisance. Some neighbor's dog in Mumbai must have bit him when he returned from some late night heart surgery!
There were at least five "last and final calls" for the dogs to register and collect their catalogue. Dogs were naturally reluctant to be listed in a 'cat'alogue.
A young man from Kottayam (based on his accent) sat beside us before the start. He had his Labrador entered in the 'Gundog' category. Two young brothers sitting next to him were very keen on identifying the breeds. He showed them his lab louging in the far away concrete audience stand. The green carpet on which that dog was supposed to be lying had slipped down the lower deck. He immediately called the assistant on the cellphone and reset the doggie bed. A caring owner, I thought. So I was happy when he won the Labs segment and came second in the Gundog category.
The competition got going with German Shepherds. There must have been around 25 of them. Dr. Joseph, already pressure cooked in his suit, would stagger towards each competitor, perform a dental inspection, back stroke, anal inspection and tail stroke. Owing to the sunny morning, all the dogs had their tongue hanging out. Later on, there was a Bull Mastiff with such a massive tongue that the presenter couldn't get her to put it back in her mouth. That bitch!
I don't know if there is an unpublished secret code of judgement these judges alone possess. In all the dog shows I have seen, the decisions seem to come out the meditation of the judges while the dogs walk or run around in circles. I wonder if the standard for beauty for dog's tail is same as an elephant's trunk, that it should touch the ground.
A European lady had entered her beautiful Golden Retriever which caused much oohing and aahing from the crowd. I hope it was for the dog and not the owner. But seeing her, Dr. Joseph looked ready to hang his tongue out to let off some heat. She won in the gun dog section with ease...so did her dog.
Around a hundred plastic chairs were provided ring side. Towers of stacked chairs formed a wall that cordoned off half the venue. A constantly changing demographics of 300 stood behind these chairs. At one point next to me sat a couple of guys who were disappointed that there were no circus tricks being performed by the dogs. They were so desirous of acrobatics that when the announcer called for Bull Mastiff breed owners to get ready, one of them excitedly told the other, "Gymnastics ippo thudangum" (gynmastics will start now). I rained on their hopes by spelling out Bull Mastiff which only a Malayalee announcer could pronounce like gymnastics.
By the time miniature Pinschers gave way to undiminished Pinschers a not-so-young couple had taken the seats next to mine. The wife was busy with the camera and the husband would draw her attention to photogenic canines. On one occassion, Mr. Radhakrishnan, the judge, spent quite a while examining the balls of a great looking Pinscher. It almost looked as if he was expressing the anal glands. I was remembering the mention of men's interest in "dog's bollocks" made in the latest episode of QI, when the wife shifted uneasily nearby.
"Che...iyal ithenthonnu kanikunathu?!"(che...what is he doing?!) the wife said in a mixture of shame and fake disgust. "Di, athinokke thookkavum valippavum kanakkum okke ullathanu...sherikkum nokkanam," (Princess Diana, these things have standards of weight, size etc...so they have to be examined carefully)snickered the husband seeing that she was relishing the double entendre. She, then, leaned back and whispered something into his ear that turned his face red.
Well, as red as a Mallu man could be.
The pug breed is known here as vodafone puppy thanks to a hugely popular marketing campaign featuring the dog. There was one entree each for Cocker Spaniel and Dalmatian. French bulldogs, boxers and daschund breeds had much more competitors.
All the while, the lovely dogs that were kind enough to make me part of their lives in USA kept returning to my mind. Crescent, Duke, Flyby and Mona Lisa would have walked away with the top prizes here easily. I am yet to get introduced to the new addition to the Pearland family, Oliver 'kozhakattai' Chandru!
In dogs, I have found the embodiment of "unconditional" love that Jiddu Krishnamurti talks about. Unconditional in two senses. One, the love is not conditioned by upbringing as in the case of human being. Dogs don't watch other dogs to learn how to love. They don't read romances, sing along with idealized lovers in the movies, sigh heavily with nostalgia and re-bark the barks of their forefathers who had been successful pets! A dog's love for a person is not acquired, not taught, not an imitation of what it has been told is desirable or joyful.
Secondly, the love is not a reciprocation. A dog doesn't impose conditions that need to be satisfied for its affection to flower. It can take a tremendous amount of abuse but still smother one with drooling passion.
On many occasions, I have sat with lady Crescent, the King Charles Spaniel princess, on my lap and felt her heart wildly beating because I had just come back to the apartment after an absence of a few hours. Our lives would have been so much better if such unbridled excitement and affection could be felt. A dog never once wonders if it is worthy of love... whether it should enhance itself. Comparison, that dreadful originator and propagator of conditioning, has not blemished the doggie mind.
In our addiction to the security of conditioning, dogs are a frequent reminder of what a living outside the boundaries can offer: shameless, aimless, timeless, self-less, unconditional love!
Amma and Rema aunty went this afternoon to watch the new hit movie, Pranayam (love) by Blessy. In memory of the not-so-great first experience in the theater here, I passed. Instead of Pranayam, I continued with Brahadaranyaka Upanishad. Dog's Bollocks! I had started a new "no lunch" regimen to avoid the afternoon nap. Couple of hours asleep followed by another couple of drowsiness is a precious waste of life. If my dreams were funny, I would have napped. The Upanishad did not disappoint as a provider of mirth.
As I finish typing this, the neighbors are gathering at Leny chechi's house. From the concerned murmurs, I figure that Jimmy, their dog, who has been sick for the last couple of days, has passed away.
Loss of a friend I could have made!
I'll proceed to attend the unceremonial burial in their backyard.
R.I.P Jimmy (2003-2011)
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