All That Glitters....(BH:D24)

August 27, 2011

It is almost 6pm and finally, I have some time to myself. By the time I had woken up, Amma was already back with vegetables from the Palayam market. Expecting a steady stream of visitors, she wanted to finish up the cooking as early as possible. Around 9am, my second youngest uncle and the astrologer uncle and wife showed up. The astrologer uncle was all raring to go about cosmic radiation and influence on birth, but first I had to do security guard duty.

Spy thriller mode. I was to use my worn out A&M backpack to transport cash and jewelry. Before getting to the bank, we had to stop at Bhima jewelry to collect the wedding ring. It had been given for engraving Ajith's name. Bhima jewelry sits between Jayashree silks and Bhima silks. This was my first visit to a full fledged gold shop in the new India.

A tall, well built security guard with neatly trimmed mustache opened the door for us. I thanked him. He was pleasantly surprised. Two young ladies in what appeared to be the Bhima uniform saree were at the door to do the traditional 'namaste'. An old man standing next to them identified Amma since she has been a recent frequent visitor. He immediately collected the receipt and went to fetch the ring. 

The ground floor of the shop had neat neon signs hanging over the different sections: lockets, rings, chains, coin/bullion. The neon was out on the necklace sign. Wall to wall glass show cases housing glittering gold. Upper level of the wall was painted with the most amateurish mural I have ever seen: elephants that look like inverted pears and female forms that looked like they had the opposite of liposuction performed on them. 

Since almost all the other major jewelers in Kerala are Christian owned and operated, it looked like Bhima was playing the Hindu card to the hilt. All the salesmen and women had at least two marks on their forehead:sandal, ash or saffron. Gold prices might have been skyrocketing but there were enough customers on this saturday morning to keep all the sales folks busy. The necklace segment seemed a little less crowded. A young salesman was utilizing the opportunity to chat up a pretty salesgirl. I was afraid that if he leaned any more with his elbow onto the glass counter tops, they would crash. Bending of the backbone seems to be physical reaction that the presence of a pretty woman brings about in most young men here. Nothing is straight. Culture! The guy the cash counter had the universal expression of someone secretly surfing the web during office hours.

Amma told me that the entire second floor was dedicated for bangles. The third floor had silver jewelry. Tara had ordered some silver toe rings. After we got the gold ring, we waited for the toe-rings. While leaving thanked the doorman again just to see his surprise!

From Bhima to the bank was a short drive. Passed in front of a gift shop that wanted to be hep in emphasizing that it is "the" gift shop by naming itself stylishly as "de gift shop"! Achan wanted to withdraw whatever was there in the account in that bank branch. This was the largest amount of Indian money I have ever handled. Unless Lokpal fails and I go into politics, this record will be maintained. We cleaned out the locker and filled up my A&M backpack. I exited the bank pretending to be an aged student still struggling to clear entrance exams. Gold is worth its weight in gold. 

Back home, couple of hours of intense discussion on astrology, science, psychology and neurosciences. It is very difficult to debate with this uncle. He is so pleasantly disposed that he agrees with diametrically opposite viewpoints simultaneously! Everything makes him smile. 

Youngest uncle came by in the afternoon since two of his elder brothers were around to chat. My oldest cousin (who is as old as the youngest uncle) also came. The discussion turned to black holes, relativity, big bang etc. But then it routinely swung to the other extreme with the astrologer uncle reciting some Sanskrit verse and reiterating that the ancient sages knew everything. The quality of ideas traded was choppier than recent NASDAQ history. 

Went with Amma to buy some bakery snacks for the evening visitors. Veggie puff and black halwa. A bakery chain that started as a single shop called Ambrosia now has four other outlets and a bakery segment in all of the Spencers grocers in the city. The puffs are debilitatingly huge. 

In the evening, the shamiana folks came to set up the frame. 

"Is it ok if the drains point to the neighbor's yard?"

"No" 

"Then it won't be symmetric with the driveway." 

"That is ok!" 

Everyone in the shamiana team, except the supervisor, is from north India. 

Achan had made an offering of 101 coconuts to the Ganapati temple in connection with the wedding. So by 4pm, we were on our way. Couple of autorickshaw drivers refused us because it is too crowded to go to that area of the city in the evenings owing to the brand new rush to see Sri Padmanabhaswamy. Finally a kind rickshaw driver took us. 

45 minutes to cover 4 kilometers! In-rickshaw entertainment was provided by a young lady in a scooty and a young man in a Yamaha motorbike stuck in traffic right in front of our rickshaw. They were thoroughly enjoying the slow moving traffic by exchanging knowing glances, mouthing choice words and once in a while, txting each other. The only rush that happens in rush hour traffic here are the hormones through their systems. 

101 coconuts come in a sack worth thousand rupees. Achan remembered his childhood when he used to buy 8 coconuts for a rupee. We started the breaking. All the offered coconuts of the day were still lying in the rock pit, so we had to be more accurate than Indian bowlers to hit the stone and crack the nut. Achan gave up after 25. I love smashing coconuts. Tried and succeeded in not thinking about the massive Toneform bra billboard right outside the temple while handling the coconuts. I was nearing half century when a temple staff dropped a massive spade into the pit to pull away some of the accumulated coconuts. While he was doing that, other devotees continued to throw more. Pieces and coconut water flying all over the place. Enough coconut water splashed on us to make it look like we had put in an effort.

We decided to try a roundabout un-congested route for the way back home. It was difficult to get a rickshaw. One driver who we waved to drove away saying "cannot stop cannot stop!". I hope he didn't mean his brakes had failed. 

This route took us near Central Theater, an old theater, which these days runs only dubbed sleazy Tamil and Telugu movies. Achan reminisced that this theater used to run only the movies made by the production banner called Udaya Pictures in his childhood. They would play all the movie songs using outside speakers. 

"How many times I have stood in this queue?" he said when we went past the ticket counter. After a pause he said, "There was no restriction in those days for me for watching movies. I would say I am going to watch a movie. Achan would say nothing." 

Looks like grandfather was pro-entertainment. 

"I didn't have time to go for movies till 12th," I said, "After that I have also been a regular!" 

I have never watched a movie in Central Theater. May be for Achan's old times sake, I should go watch "Kaamagni - Adults Only"....alone!

One of Tara's teachers from high school sent her sister over as representative to meet and greet Tara. She wanted to see the wedding saree and the jewelry. "My mother always wanted to see the brides in their wedding saree beforehand." She was trying to transform into her deceased mother. "My son always wanted to be a chef. He wanted to do hotel management. We got him admission in the best school in New York. Paid the first installment of fee as well. But his visa application was rejected. Till this day we don't know why. May be because he already had an MBA," she spoke mostly in English.

Unexpected downpour at sunset drenched the shamiana workers. Idiyappam and stew for 25 people came over in a kinetic Honda. 25 people did not come over. It must have rained on their plans. Neighbors pitched in to finish up the dinner. 

Shamiana men continued to work after dark. They went into the thorny lemon bushes to fix a pole. Achan warned them, "avide mullunde" (there are thorns there). Then he realized that they don't understand Malayalam. So he switched to textbook Hindi from his school days, "Udhar us paudhe pe kaante hai!"

Chit chat with neighbors over dinner brought up the matter of a new marriage "tradition" that is gaining popularity in Tamil Nadu. Right before the main ceremony, a pre-decided god will enter the body of a pre-decided relative. He or she will pretend to be delirious and in a trance for a while, then bless the bride and groom and collapse 'unconscious'. All the guests at the wedding stand bowing in reverence while this nonsense goes on. We thought about assigning our second youngest uncle a diety to trance into and prance about during the wedding. 

Perhaps Tara's wedding can be the trend setter by importing this tradition from Tamil Nadu.